What, not Why

img_3597As I sit in this lovely, quiet room at my favorite teahouse, I decide to take a moment to read my devotional for this week.  It focuses on Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

I’ve quoted this scripture so many times, whether it was to encourage myself or encourage others.  There’s this promise that even though bad things will happen to us, as Christians we have hope in God that they will work out for the good.

I have to be honest, there are many times I don’t feel like that’s going to happen.  Anytime I have a panic attack or feel anxious, what I feel doesn’t match up with this verse.  I’ve asked myself, why did so many bad things happen to me?  Why was I assaulted so many times?

Thanks to God, I have moments of complete clarity and understanding.  My pastor, Dr. Chip Bennett, at Grace Community Church said the key is asking what, not why.  So, in those moments of clarity and understanding, I remember to ask God what.  Those bad things happened to me, what do you want to do with them?

I think I’m starting to uncover the what.  So many women have suffered like I have and they have never voiced their deep rooted pain.  Well, I’m here not only to be their voice, but more importantly to share the hope we have in Jesus Christ.

Every day I have to choose if I’m going to believe that Christ has taken care of all the pain I have endured when he died on the cross.  Today, at this very moment, I believe that.  Healing has come through cognitive therapy and medication.  And that’s ok.  Just because I’ve had medical intervention to deal with PTSD, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe Jesus has healed me.  I believe it even more now.  Even though the pain I’ve suffered is great, Christ is greater.

Be encourage friends

Do more than survive, live!


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